Friday 16 December 2011

Starting Trouble

Like any one of u out here, I too have starting trouble…..That’s the main reason, y I never created a blog till now…..
I always needed someone who pushes me to do things…..
And no doubt, there is some1 who pushed me to open a blog too……And its only coz of that person, u r reading this right now……Anyways a hearty thanks to that person……

The Emptiness


               At once, I went blank. I felt I was in the dry dessert or may be in the vast ocean with no life boats…
                I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he say that???I doubted…I pinched myself, to realize that it wasn’t a dream. This means, a part of me, my soul its dead…….
                I have to withdraw..But from what?? Another big question…Withdraw from loving him or from talking to him…I know the first one is impossible...I have tried it and failed in it many times. Then the second one, I have to do it for his happiness…Yes….I have to do...
                I again recalled what he said last day…'I want to stop talking to you..I am feeling guilty. I wanted to do this even before….but, I didn’t..Whatever I am coming across, says me to stop talking to you…I don’t know how far it’s possible...But I have to do it…’.These were his words…..
              Now only thing before me is his happiness...He should no more feel guilty..I started thinking deeply…
               As I go deep into my mind, I could feel the bleeding heart….The salty tears never had an end…But when I think about his happiness, I know this pain is nothing…I should bear it for him, for his happiness…
I said to myself, ’dare not go even in his dreams..My shadow itself can scare him’.
              This pain is terrible…..The pain of separation….It’s like a dagger stabbed into my little heart….The wound is a wound, unhealed forever..
               Even in the midst of all this, I wished I could get a single missed call or a message beep from him…But…none came…I felt I am all alone in this world…Nobody is there even to console me..
               Days passed….Months passed….And with no much change the year end also nearing….I waited with a bag full of hope….At least a single message could have come on New year eve….But nothing came…..Two things were empty till the end, my mind and my inbox…..I could never live long with my ever empty inbox…..
                               Now my body is also empty, as the soul has departed….

Thursday 15 December 2011

THE UNEXPECTED FRIEND

In life, certain things come without even knocking the door…. We always wonder, who gives the permission… But if the things prove good for us, we forget about when and how they entered our life…isn't it ! This is also about such an ‘entrance’, how an unknown person became a very good friend of mine …..
          Everything began in FB…(oopsy….no confusions, its facebook)….To be frank, things are still going on in Facebook and I was new to it …And I hardly knew what to do with such a social networking site….And like everyone else out here, I too started searching for my old classmates, batch-mates etc….I swear to god, I searched only for them…..
        Likewise one week passed…..And I succeeded in making nearly 195 friends….these include my cousins, juniors, seniors and class mates..And I was kinda, on the run to increase the number of friends in my friends list…But didn’t dare to send a friend request to someone I didn’t know….
            I too used to get many such friend requests… And most of them were boys… As it’s a common thing in social networking sites these days, boys searching for girls and  vice-versa……I am no one to question it, and I am not daring too….. but exceptional cases could also be there, like  me…… Most of those unknown friend requests are still left unattended ….
            And that was the day…..To my surprise I got a poke, that day…when I saw the name in my gmail notification, I thought why did this girl poked me…with hell lot of confusions, I opened my FB account. Though this poke didn’t hurt me physically, I must say I was hurt… And when I checked the account it was a boy !!….I could never imagine a boy poking me, and that to an unknown one… how dare he do that..
             To be frank, at that time I didn’t lose my temper for poking me. Instead I felt sad….The first thought that came to my mind was, does this boy hate me? But he can’t hate me without knowing me right…so I consoled myself…Then what could be this boy’s problem…..I dared to ask him openly…..
And I asked him too……
It all began then n there……..
             He was kinda cool guy…But provoking kind….His each message provoked me to reply back….But was not ready to accept what he has done…..He really did have a good sense of humor, and many a times I found myself laughing unknowingly…..
          At last I ended up giving my gmail-id for chatting. Can’t imagine me doing that right? Hmmm, actually even I couldn’t imagine. But I gave it, with no second thought…And to be open, I was asking myself a 100 times, why the hell am I chatting with someone whom I don’t even know….. But, chatting with him was lots of fun. So I conveniently pushed back all those popping thoughts….
           In the mean time, he even sent a friend request too..But I think it was my ego that didn’t allow me accept it for a couple of days…Every time he reminded me about his request, seemingly I was ignoring it. But in heart of hearts, I felt like accepting it then and there, but just did some show-off for two days, that’s all. The third day, I accepted it, during the lunch time….
              I was too happy to get such a friend…..I don’t  know whether I can address him as friend, as it was just two or three days since we’ve met. For the convenience sake, let’s call this Mr.Unexpected as a  friend….But to be frank, I really do consider this Mr. Unexpected as friend…(no comments please !)
           Who doesn’t like to have such a friend, who is understanding, caring, considerate, jovial, cool etc etc…..?? It’s almost like he is a mirror image of myself….Our likes, our dreams, our thoughts all come under a single umbrella. And to be true to myself, you rarely find such so called ‘coincidences’.
              But there are differences too…. He loves mathematics, whereas I just hate it…. And I am yet to find other differences…But in fact differences are nothing in friendship…As understanding these differences makes “just-friends” the “best friends”. Isn’t it !
         Though it was just two or three days, I get a strange feeling that we knew each other from our childhood. For your kind information, this was his comment and not mine… But what he said was almost true….we feel too good talking to each other.. relaxed….And you know what, time just flies while talking to him….
            He is different from any other boy I have seen out there. He respects others emotions and feelings. The quality you hardly see in other boys, right ? Yes that’s why I say he is different…
            And to the girls out there, the one who marries him is the luckiest on earth. I swear girls…..He will consider you as the princess of his heart….What more do we need in this earth??? eh?? And ‘Congratulations’ in advance to that princess, whom he is waiting for….
            As a friend I sincerely pray for him, to get all his wishes fulfilled. Because he really deserves a lot more than you think…  I’m thankful to FB, for giving such a wonderful friend. This simply proves that unexpected things are not always bad….And they are wonderful sometimes…. Just like this friend…
         And one day, while chatting he told, he has sent his angel to get my mobile number from me in person….And I thought may be really angels do work for such good hearted people ! And every day I peep through  my window in the night just to see whether any angel is waiting to get in…. But, none came yet..So I am still waiting for that angel, though I know angels can’t come…