The Emptiness

At once, I went blank. I felt I was in the dry dessert or may be in the vast ocean with no life boats…

I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he say that???I doubted…I pinched myself, to realize that it wasn’t a dream. This means, a part of me, my soul its dead…….

I have to withdraw..But from what?? Another big question…Withdraw from loving him or from talking to him…I know the first one is impossible...I have tried it and failed in it many times. Then the second one, I have to do it for his happiness…Yes….I have to do...

I again recalled what he said last day…'I want to stop talking to you..I am feeling guilty. I wanted to do this even before….but, I didn’t..Whatever I am coming across, says me to stop talking to you…I don’t know how far it’s possible...But I have to do it…’.These were his words…..

Now only thing before me is his happiness...He should no more feel guilty..I started thinking deeply…

As I go deep into my mind, I could feel the bleeding heart….The salty tears never had an end…But when I think about his happiness, I know this pain is nothing…I should bear it for him, for his happiness…

I said to myself, ’dare not go even in his dreams..My shadow itself can scare him’.

This pain is terrible…..The pain of separation….It’s like a dagger stabbed into my little heart….The wound is a wound, unhealed forever..

Even in the midst of all this, I wished I could get a single missed call or a message beep from him…But…none came…I felt I am all alone in this world…Nobody is there even to console me..

Days passed….Months passed….And with no much change the year end also nearing….I waited with a bag full of hope….At least a single message could have come on New year eve….But nothing came…..Two things were empty till the end, my mind and my inbox…..I could never live long with my ever empty inbox…..