It’s too bright in my new world. I found it tough to open my teeny weeny little eyes. Through my half-opened little eyes, I saw them….Angels!!! Dressed in white….staring at me in wonder…Suddenly one of those so called angels pulled me by my leg and gave two slaps on my back…..ouchhh…. I never expected it…so gave out a loud feeble cry….Those angels in one voice said ‘Thank God’….I wondered why should they thank God when I cry…..So indifferent…So mean they are, I said to myself....
They wrapped me in some stuff and gave me to some lady…'It’s a boy', the angel who slapped me said.Ohhh, I am a boy ! I murmured …..But why did they give me to this lady? They could have kept me with them right?? With lots of wonder and surprise I looked at that lady… I could see her eyes filled with tears, and half dried tears on her cheeks…I felt sad when she gave me a tiresome look…But she is managing to smile at me. And I too gave back a smile in response.
I felt so much warmth in her hands.. I don’t know why I feel so secured in her hands… I feel I need nothing when she is next to me. So contended I was…
It seems I should call her mom, and there came another guy who boasted himself as dad…May be I am their belonging…They packed all the stuff spread out there. And mom took me with her and we moved on to some other new home..
But….later on things changed… No, no wait don’t start assuming things….I didn't mean I changed…I meant that the situations changed…I actually never saw that same happiness in her eyes after that..I don’t know the reason or reasons behind it…People started looking at me in aversion…Especially my dad, he never smiled at me or talked to me or never played with me….May be dads’ are not supposed to do all that...
I never had many toys…I played with sand, the clay out there in front of my house, some small well shaped pebbles...And also I had some living toys too, don’t know the names clearly, but people call it something like snails, lizards etc… And many a times these lizards cheat me and go off to roof top….And starts giggling at me… I too giggled back and continue playing with other toy stuff…
When I get hungry I go and pull my mom’s sari and she puts some eatables in a plate and gives me…i happily eat it and also feed my ‘living toys’ in the custody…
Likewise days passed….and months….then years too….My life also kept on moving with not much change in the routine…Oh…I forgot to tell, there was one change..I became tall now….now no more lizards and snails…they are too small to play with…Now puppies kittens hens all are my good friends…We play together and eat together…Eat together doesn’t mean I eat their food, but they eat mine…
I have a room in the house. It was my world. Nobody in my home talks to me much. Just convey things which are necessary.... Necessary, in the sense very necessary stuff. So I confine myself to that small little world in my home. Though small I like it a lot, because, it was my only refuge…There I have, one small bed and a pillow, a wooden box where I keep my dress my toys etc and also a small chair and a table. My pillow is my best friend…whenever I feel sad I just run to my pillow, hug it and cry till no more tears are left...And you know what, when I hug my pillow, I could feel the warmth of care only a mother could give, and my mother’s warm touch is still there hidden in my (unforgotten) memory…
And one day a nanny came home and was talking to mom…I overheard their talk through the window sill…but nothing was clear…except for a few words.... Words like school compulsory etc…What is school??I have no idea about that … And when nanny got down she saw me, and came near and said “you are 6 years old now, tomorrow onwards you can go to school. I will take you to school tomorrow. Wear the best dress you have ...”
That whole night I was pondering over the word school…what it could be? Is it some other world like my home, where I have to create my own small little world? Will the people over there come and talk to me or will I be kept isolated? What will I do going there? I slept off before I could find answers for my never ending questions.....
I got up early in the morning, and was so excited about school. You might be thinking, what’s there in school for me to be so excited, right?? You know, it’s the first time I am going to see some other place other than my home…And I got ready and wore my best ‘possible’ trousers and shirts. And started waiting for that nanny… She came with a small slate and some pieces of thin white colored chalk pieces and gave it to me and told to keep with me....Wow!!!! Is it for me I asked her, she said yes……I felt so happy…I can’t remember anyone who gave me things to keep it for myself…maybe it’s because this is the first time…..
She held my hand and we walked….And after some time we reached a thatched building…There were too many rooms that were too closely packed…May be this is school, I thought. Nanny took me to a class and introduced me to the teacher there...and nanny bid me bye...And teacher patted my shoulder and took me to the second bench and made me sit near a girl…When I sat next to her she first frowned at me.....And with her chalk piece, she drew a line in the desk and whispered in my ears, ‘this is my place, keep your hands away’. I was wonder stuck by this… I thought it’s compulsory to draw lines in the desk like this. So I too took my brand new chalk and drew lines, and whispered in her ears, ‘this is my place, but u can keep your hands’. She looked at me in surprise and smiled at me….And I knew, if she counted, she could have easily counted all my 26 teeth…
Everyday I used to wait for school time, just to see my new friend. It's really different when you have someone to talk with and that person listens to each word of yours with great surprise and laughs with you for the silliest of your jokes… Those were the beginning of the wonderful days in my life. Later I realized it was just only my wish.
I always felt that I go to school just to see her or to be with her…The happiness I get when I sit beside her was something always new to me. To be frank I feel it’s tough to put that happiness in words, because, it has to be only experienced .... Our friendship was the one that was most envied by everyone in the class. Every day she comes to school with a candy, and she shares it with me…Whenever I get a colored feather or crystal stone, I keep it for her. We became very close, as days passed.
I hate Friday evenings. It is tough to be at home during weekends. I will be in my room doing nothing, the whole two days. It’s not fair if I say I do nothing. I will be planning what should I tell her on Monday morning to make her laugh. It’s during this time I started doing drawings. I never went for a drawing class. But simply started drawing for time pass. The first picture I drew was her’s. It can’t claim to be the perfect picture I have ever done, but still that was perfect for me. Her image was too very clear in my mind, and I found it easy for me to draw. And I waited for Monday morning to show her that picture.
I woke up that day morning, hearing lots of noises in my home. I didn't know why all were running around inside my home. And I could hear my mom’s screams from her room. I didn’t know why she was crying so badly.... I thought she got hurt or something. I didn’t know what was going on. And then saw my dad and few others taking my mom somewhere. Nobody noticed me. I was standing near the doorsteps watching them taking my mom in an ambulance. And I was left all alone in that big house. Nobody here… No one…What am I supposed to do??????
I just didn't know what to do. Then hour hand just struck 7. It was then I realized it’s a Monday morning. I ran to see my drawing. Yes it’s perfectly alright. But how would I go to school? Nobody is at home. I sat there near the doorsteps, waiting for somebody to come. But nobody came… hours passed….I was tired with hunger and thirst. I went to kitchen. I didn't expect any food there. But still I searched for some food. Wooh, I found it….The previous day's half eaten dosa left by me. I took the plate and suddenly a lizard jumped out from the plate and went hiding…looked like it was enjoying its breakfast...Sorry, me too very hungry, I told the lizard and left a small piece of my dosa and went on to have the rest.
By evening my mom and dad was back home…Mom was perfectly alright…But she is having something in her hand, something which was wrapped in some white colored towel…Oh, may be some gift for me…They went into their room and I followed them, and was too curious to know about the gift. I just stood near the door and started peeping ... Then my mom called me inside. I went inside hesitantly … in small and soft footsteps.... And she kept her gift in the bed, and then I saw it……It’s a small baby… She told, ‘it’s your sister.’
Oh……I was surprised or shocked...I repeated to myself that it’s my sister… I felt too attached to that little one…I got someone whom I can call as mine…Now I will not be alone in this home. I can play with my sister…My joy knew no bounds…I went to my room and jumped with joy…I was so excited about this…I can tell my friend also about my baby sister…Does she have one too, like me? But she never told me about her sister…. I went to bed that day with so much of happiness…For a long time I was wide awake trying to catch sleep…But slept of in between.
I woke up early, and ran to see my little sister…She is not awake yet… I stood looking at her for some time, and saw her smiling in her sleep…she was definitely dreaming … I too smiled and left to get ready…
I reached school earlier than usual…Waited eagerly for my friend to come…The first bell rang…She didn't come…Second bell rang…And now class was going to start…Class teacher came….Why she is not yet here…My mind was restless. I stared through the window…and no sign of her…I was too very sad and dejected…I didn’t know what better word can explain my feeling…Teacher started taking attendance….And to my surprise today she didn't call her name at all…Teacher would've missed her name…I thought I should remind her…And I got up and told teacher ….Then she smilingly said, ‘I didn't forget her name. She had shifted to another school in the outskirts of the village.’
Those words were like a thunder burst for me…I wouldn't let her change the school like that…She was the only friend I got…And it must be same with her too, I'm the only friend she got, right…I sat there lifeless…Did she know we couldn't see each other anymore ? Did she cry when they took her to another school? Would she come back to see me? Though I knew, I have no answers; I just couldn’t stop questioning myself… Tears rolled down my cheeks and fell on my slate….What I didn't notice was, my drawing too was getting erased….
After the class the watchman came and informed me that I had to go to office. There my class teacher was waiting for me with a box in her hand… She gave it to me and told ‘your friend came yesterday with her parents. She wanted to say good-bye to you. But you didn't come yesterday, so she left this for you.’ I opened it then and there…It was a box of chocolates, the same variety of chocolates that we share every day….
